Feelings & Togetherness
What makes an apology helpful?
A little sorry is sometimes not enough. Puschel thinks about making things right.
The short answer
A helpful apology names what happened and takes responsibility. Listening and making amends can be part of it. The other person does not have to forgive immediately or play again.
An imagined Wusel scene
Puschel and Flauschi investigate
Puschel knocks Flauschi's drawing off the table as he passes. He names what happened and asks if he may help pick it up. She wants to paint alone afterwards. He accepts that and walks past more carefully next time.
Try explaining it
This question is about a fictional situation and considerate actions, not about which feelings you should have.
After an apology, Flauschi still wants space. What fits?
Choose a), b) or c), then explain your choice.
- a)Respect her wish and improve one's behaviour.
- b)Demand immediate forgiveness.
- c)Treat the apology as a right to closeness.
Show the explanation
Correct: a): Respect her wish and improve one's behaviour.
A helpful apology names what happened and takes responsibility. Listening and making amends can be part of it. The other person does not have to forgive immediately or play again.
Think about it, if you like
You can use the fictional situation; you do not have to share personal experiences.
After an apology, someone still wants space. What might be appropriate?
One possible idea
Respect that wish and change your behaviour. An apology does not entitle someone to immediate closeness.
Explore in more detail
Here you will find longer explanations and further details. You can explore them together.
Understand step by step
What does this mean in everyday life?
Examples are possible situations. You need not feel a particular emotion or share a personal story.
Name your part
Someone who tore a picture can state what happened without shifting blame with but.
Ask what is needed
Repair may help, or the person may need space. Seek suitable repair together rather than deciding on a gift alone.
Do not force a response
Immediate forgiveness is not required. Apology is a step towards responsibility, not a voucher for closeness or play.
The key points again
Discovery 1
A helpful apology names what happened without shifting responsibility.
Source: [2]
Discovery 2
Listening and a suitable way to make amends can be part of it.
Source: [2]
Discovery 3
The other person does not have to forgive immediately or want to play again. An apology cannot demand closeness.
Source: [3]