Feelings & Togetherness
What is envy?
Puschel’s lovely toy wheel awakens a difficult wish in Flauschi.
The short answer
Envy can arise when someone has or can do something you wish for too. The feeling is allowed. You can consider the wish behind it without putting the other person down.
An imagined Wusel scene
Puschel and Flauschi investigate
Puschel examines his little green toy wheel. Flauschi looks at it and her shoulders drop a little.
Flauschi“I would like one too.” Puschel holds the wheel in his paws. Puschel“You wish you had a similar one?”
Flauschi“Yes. And comparing feels unpleasant right now.”
Puschel“You can say that. The wheel belongs to me. I can show it to you if you want. We can play together if we both want to.”
Flauschi takes nothing away. She is not completely happy yet. Flauschi“I discovered a wish. I do not have to fulfil it by taking something.”
Try explaining it
This question is about a fictional situation and considerate actions, not about which feelings you should have.
Puschel wishes for something Flauschi has. What is allowed?
Choose a), b) or c), then explain your choice.
- a)Name his wish without taking something.
- b)Take Flauschi's item without asking.
- c)Put Flauschi down for having it.
Show the explanation
Correct: a): Name his wish without taking something.
Envy can arise when someone has or can do something you wish for too. The feeling is allowed. You can consider the wish behind it without putting the other person down.
Questions to think about
What wishes might be behind Flauschi’s envy?
Show conversation idea
Perhaps she wants a lovely toy too. Several ideas may fit.
Must Puschel give her his toy wheel so she no longer feels envy?
Show conversation idea
No. He can listen and offer support. His toy wheel can stay with him, and the feeling need not vanish immediately.
Explore in more detail
Here you will find longer explanations and further details. You can explore them together.
Understand step by step
What does this mean in everyday life?
Examples are possible situations. You need not feel a particular emotion or share a personal story.
Comparison reveals a wish
Another child can do something you wish you could. Envy may appear before shared joy.
Look closer at the wish
Is it the skill, toy or attention? Knowing may help form a request or learning step.
Wanting is not taking
You may want it too, without permission to insult or steal. Support and your own plan are options; envy need not vanish instantly.
The key points again
Discovery 1
Envy can arise when another person has something, or can do something, that you want for yourself. It may concern possessions, things someone can do well or something they have managed to do. The comparison can feel unpleasant.
Source: [1]
Discovery 2
You can name the feeling and explore the wish behind it: I would like a lovely find too. This is a conversation idea, not a trick guaranteed to make envy disappear immediately.
Discovery 3
Having a feeling is different from acting on it. You can seek support and talk about your wish. Taking things, insulting others or deliberately breaking things are not fair solutions.
Source: [3]