Feelings & Togetherness
How can we make things better after an argument?
One wheelbarrow, two plans and a pause to listen.
The short answer
After an argument, first becoming calmer and hearing different wishes can help. Then you can take responsibility and seek a suitable solution. Making up sometimes takes time; nobody has to want closeness immediately.
An imagined Wusel scene
Puschel and Flauschi investigate
Puschel wants to collect leaves; Flauschi wants to move soil. They both reach for the same wheelbarrow. Puschel“I was here first!”
Flauschi“But I need it too!” They let go and pause.
Then they take turns speaking. Puschel“I want to clear the path.” Flauschi“I want to prepare the bed.”
They agree on an order. Puschel“I am sorry I became so loud.” Flauschi“Thank you. I am still a little angry.”
Puschel“You do not have to feel cheerful straight away.” They begin small separate jobs. Later they use the wheelbarrow in turns.
Try explaining it
This question is about a fictional situation and considerate actions, not about which feelings you should have.
What helps resolve an argument?
Choose a), b) or c), then explain your choice.
- a)Let only the louder person decide.
- b)Force a hug immediately.
- c)Become calmer and hear both people's wishes.
Show the explanation
Correct: c): Become calmer and hear both people's wishes.
After an argument, first becoming calmer and hearing different wishes can help. Then you can take responsibility and seek a suitable solution. Making up sometimes takes time; nobody has to want closeness immediately.
Questions to think about
How could both explain their wishes without blaming?
Show conversation idea
For example: “I want to clear the path” and “I want to bring soil for the bed”.
Does Flauschi have to give a making-up hug?
Show conversation idea
No. Closeness and forgiveness are voluntary. She may need space and time.
Explore in more detail
Here you will find longer explanations and further details. You can explore them together.
Understand step by step
What does this mean in everyday life?
Examples are possible situations. You need not feel a particular emotion or share a personal story.
Wishes collide
Two children want the same pen. A disagreement describes their wishes, not one child being bad.
Understand before solving
Both can explain what they need. Taking turns or another pen may work if suitable for everyone.
Hurt needs more
Someone who hurt or insulted takes responsibility and seeks repair. A solution cannot force immediate friendship, touch or forgiveness.
The key points again
Discovery 1
Different wishes can clash in an argument. Listening helps us understand them.
Discovery 2
We can describe what happened, take responsibility and look for a fair solution together.
Discovery 3
Making things better sometimes takes time. Nobody has to forgive immediately, give a hug or keep playing.